Don't know what to do.

Feels like a thousand bricks are upon me. Feels like I'm so close to tears.
Chou's songs to comfort. Are they helping? It's like so many things going through my head right now.
Xiang yao pei ni. Dui ah. Wo de hua yi bu hao ni bu yao xiao wo hor. haha! wo ke yi xiao zi ji, ni bu neng. Ni kan wo de pin yin dou you hen duo chuo de.. zhe dao la.. wo bu hao, bu dui ni hao hor..
zhe me ban ne? wei she me zhe yang zhi? ngo zhi ki loh lei ge lor..
Feels weird la typing that way. At the same time feels cool. Like I'm actually thinking in mandarin/canton.
How is it possible to feel so many things at once?

Lost

Can't think no more. Wish it would all stop. All I ever do it think and most of the time I think and make myself go CRAZY! What is wrong with me? One minute I'm fine, and the next you get me so confuse I feel like chewing my shoes! Okay not literally (eww.. don't even go there!) Sigh.. so what's the big confusion? I ask myself. And my mind doesn't give me a reply. I think back what you said and the pieces just aren't coming together. What's that suppose to mean? Or is my mind trying to tell me to stop thinking so much, think less and just accept it for what it is, nothing more, nothing less. But no matter how many times I try to tell myself that, I keep coming round to the fact that I know that it will be on my mind and I will think about it before I sleep, when I'm bathing, in fact just about anytime and anywhere. But you see, the problem here is, I don't know what to think. So my mind's in this crazy state where it's just a jumble of things and nothing seems to fit and at the same time I feel like I'm escaping it, trying not to think, not purposely, but something my brain seems to be taking a hold of. As if I can't decide for it. Or maybe it's just blocking it out on purpose. I don't know. Maybe you reading this post will also be confuse because I just can't seem to be getting the point am I? Grr.. so anyway, in conclusion I'm lost. Seriously. And I don't know if I should break down. I feel like I'm going there. Soon. But then what is it for? Why?

=)

The first, the last,
What does it matter,
It's you, I'm thinking.

Kept in my heart,
Someday you'd know,
Till then, I'll leave you guessing.

Wishes turn to dreams,
And dreams to reality,
Was this a wish my heart made then?

Questions unanswered,
Doubts to clear,
Smile, that's the greatest gift.

Good, bad,
Light, dark,
Positive, negative.

When can I know,
How will I know,
Hope it isn't no.

Can't force,
Shan't be forced,
Fate decides.

Made my day,
Feel the same?

Happy thoughts to,
My one and only you.