Is it possible to have liked someone for so long, but to only realize as of late that actually it is love? It's like there is a whole different meaning to this feeling. A feeling that is indescribable.
Not only are there memories of what we have gone through so far. It feels like lately you too have realized something, it made you more gentle. Don't really know if you realized it though. I also managed to realize more things.
I don't get sad so often anymore.
I can imagine so many wonderful possibilities.
You are my present and my future.
There isn't just a place in my mind that I seek comfort, but there are so many places that I go to to think of you.
Looking at you every night makes a day well spent and a tomorrow that begins.
Usually I over think and question your every move but now I rarely do that, and instead of feeling sad, I usually think of happy thoughts instead.
I still wish to hear or talk to you every time or to know what you are thinking. And for that, whenever you don't talk to me, I just think of all the gentlest things that you have done recently and caress that in my heart.
It's so hard for me to say it, to put them down in words, but I just want this to be a reminder of this memory that suddenly fills me and makes me so so so happy.
*sniff* I can really really really feel you girl.. I think you just might be in love.. ! It's just so different from having a crush, or liking someone/admiring someone isn't it? It's like, if it was a crush, if he did something that made you feel like (minus points) or you didn't like what he's really like then you'd move on in a jiffy. Or perhaps you may be disappointed for awhile but eventually the feelings disappear completely...
ReplyDeleteI wonder.. Is this what they mean by 'first love'? It's very very different lor..
You don't even know it is if it is what it is the potential it has, but the key is that. Its just the most beautiful euphoric moment in your life..
He just makes your heart pump that much faster, and even when it doesn't your brain takes over, and everything you see, do,smell, think of, you remember something about him...
It's mind baffling. Completely annoying for those of us who hate to throw caution to the wind especially when it regards to matters of the heart. And for us who (I can safely say) treasure genuine relationships and not just the physical part of love but love itself. That knows no boundaries. Has no end. Just keeps growing and growing no matter how hard you tug at its roots.. And pray for this part of your life to either end or to move on with something else, only to realize, you can't.
Like you said, partner, there's no words that could possibly measure to what is happening to you (Im still not sure about myself but I can assuredly say) I can totally relate!!!
I may not understand exactly, since everyone is different, but I can feel your joy! It's just so refreshing.. This feeling. It makes everything else unimportant..
Lol. Im seriously sorry for spamming your comments box, but I just read this and somehow, I was feeling just the same... And once I hit "comment" my fingers haven't rested up till now. :D
yeah!!! it used to be that way though. when things weren't so pretty and all that, I would start doubting myself in liking him. questions start to race, Will I be fine with a future like that? What are the chances of us being able to live with each other? Will we be able to overcome the obstacle of under understanding (if there even is such a way to describe?!?!) each other? What are the consequences of us being more than friends? and every time, the answer seems to get worse, until finally I gave up. At that moment I was so certain, and so sure that it's just going to be hard for us.
DeletePartner, you do know right, the moment that I wanted to give it all away, I just wanted to be friends. But I haven't had the time to tell you yet, what are the things that made my hear pump that much faster, and in everything I do, I think of him, not negatively anymore, but that things would always work their way out. It felt like there were no boundaries to our relationship. Before, I would think of, example, being together until we're engaged, and it would always feel like as if there is no way we would get there because there isn't even a chance for us to be together, like things wouldn't work out because we won't even be able to hold that relationship together. But now, it feels like it doesn't matter how we actually get there, or in what way we will be, but we will just be together in the future, and I can even imagine all the possible futures (ahem, okay, i know abit too much laa but then ahh.....)
It IS mind baffling. Gosh. I can't even begin to imagine what has brought me here. Everything you say, I completely agree with! This feeling, it's so raw and so new, I have to update you soon partner. There are so many things that have happened in such a short term, there are even things that leads us to think of What if this were true? that I sometimes can't believe it's happening. Meet up soon please??!?!?!!???
Hahaha.. Well, we just met! XD
ReplyDeleteAnd seriously, it's those talks we have in the car that really get into the 'deep, dark, truths' isn't it.. haha..
It's such a beautiful night.. Full, clear, bright moon.. and there are actual STARS shining in the night sky, visible..!?!?
Anyway, yeah.. Like I said in the car, it's completely outta my radar, sort of, I can't grasp it, and it just feels like everything I thought I knew, everything I thought I had a clue about, is topsy turvy. Though some points remain, and most of them prove to be correct, it is the wildest, yet tamest, most passionate, yet most still, incredibly annoying, but you can't get enough.. type of feeling/emotion/thought that I honest to goodness, cannot describe, I cannot even do it justice by typing it out/ saying it.. Cos it just sounds so watered down when you try to express it. It's so simple, pure and yet so deep and mature.. Like all the heat from molten lava, but yet as numbingly real as Calgary's blizzards.. I just don't even know what I'm trying to say. It's a dead straight, laser-like focus but yet at the same time, you drift into another realm, giddy and dizzy with joy.. Lightheaded but totally aware of the surroundings, awake and yet you slumber and continue to dream..
That fine line of Faith and Denial, I shall choose to tread. My curiosity beckons me to follow this trail, though I cannot see the front of my nose, I can feel it pulling me strongly towards it. This invisible force, it seems so meek and absent, yet the moment you fathom those thoughts, it becomes omnipresent and it overwhelms every part of your being, it engulfs every doubt you ever had.
Good gracious. I have NO idea what I just typed. Stopping now. I'm so sorry for the spam. Forgive me :)
yes i do love those car talks! ;) its just so nice hahahaha!
Deletetotally agree with u my dear.. sigh.. we'll just have to see how it goes i guess..
i really love the way u put it! hahaha! and everything that u say i just gotta agree..!